I feel like I lost a part of myself in December.

A month earlier, I’d represented England in a three-Test series against New Zealand.

We won the first Test at my old home ground in Hull and claimed the Baskerville Shield by winning the second Test at Anfield, where my Nanna used to take me as a kid.

They were a great few weeks. Then everything changed.

Not long after I returned to Canberra from the UK, I received a call from back home. We had experienced a family tragedy. My brother Nathan had passed away.

It happened on December 21, just a few weeks after Nathan’s 30th birthday.

He had been diagnosed with clinical depression and unfortunately lost the battle against it. We all knew he had his troubles but nobody was aware he was that close to the edge.

I loved my brother more than he would ever know.

I didn’t get to see him as much as I would’ve liked these past few years, with me being here in Canberra and him back home, but he was always on my mind.